Mars
Wow what a nice vacation spot. Beautiful red rocks, gray skies, and frozen lakes with probably actual water! The sun looks blue sometimes. There's like 6 moons, I think. The atmosphere is pretty dense but you can handle it if you bring an inhaler. The locals are very friendly and courteous. Wowee! I sure would love to vacation at Mars. It's in my top 5 favorite planets of all time, and I can recall many life adventures I've had there! Be sure to try to the local specialty, the fried bone marrow on a stick! Yum!!!
Venus
Damn look at that Venus. Now that's a planet! The only thing missing from this planet is a casino and a racetrack! This planet is gonna knock your socks off! The ground is yellow I think. The atmosphere is really thick, the greenhouse effect over there is pretty crazy, but we have plenty of easy-to-use respirators! The lakes are hot and bubbly, and I think they're made of methane or something. There are also big meatballs in the sky, tourists often mistake them for moons. Be sure to try to the down-home-style wings with teriyaki sauce!!! Wow what a planet.
Sagittarius A
Look at this crazy motherfucker. This is one supermassive black hole, sitting smack dab in the middle of the Milky Way galaxy. Our vacation program offers a safe, reliable method of interdimensional transportation, so you can travel to and from the black hole safely. Event horizon got you down? Not anymore! Check out the entire future history of the universe from inside this guy. Bring your bathing suits, because there's a galaxy-renowned water park with lots of slides! It gets pretty weird sometimes. You ever see 2001: A Space Odyssey? It's like that.