Hello future employers! I am a highly profitable man. I have no weaknesses, faults, prejudices, or complaints. I am not depressed, I have no chronic health issues, and I don't use recreational drugs! Please hire me! I will work for very low pay and I will subject myself to unpleasant languages for you. Please, don't have a look around this website! This website is a hobbyist portfolio and nothing else! All of those art works aren't mine. I am incapable of vulnerability, except when it allows me to further my career and get my coworkers to trust me. I am a shell of a person and I need the authority and structure of a big job with a big boss like you (potentially?) to fill the void in myself.
I love one thing and one thing only: Authority! Actually, two things, I love
Criticism "Feedback"! Please give me lots and lots of Feedback(tm) and lots of meetings with HR so I know who the boss is in your company. Please destroy my identity further. :^)
Dear sirs, please Agile Work Place My Butt