Please shout the words "pineapple hat boy" at me. That way, I will conclude one of two things:
you're cool and are granted Tanner seal of approval
you creep you recognize me from le phone book?
If you do not shout the words "PINEAPPLE HAT BOY PINEAPPLE BOY" at me, I will assume you don't really care about me since you haven't paid attention TO My Best Thing Ever! Take that, Mom and Dad!
Hello future employers! I am a highly profitable man. I have no weaknesses, faults, prejudices, or complaints. I am not depressed, I have no chronic health issues, and I don't use recreational drugs! Please hire me! I will work for very low pay and I will subject myself to unpleasant languages for you. Please, don't have a look around this website! This website is a hobbyist portfolio and nothing else! All of those art works aren't mine. I am incapable of vulnerability, except when it allows me to further my career and get my coworkers to trust me. I am a shell of a person and I need the authority and structure of a big job with a big boss like you (potentially?) to fill the void in myself.
I love one thing and one thing only: Authority! Actually, two things, I love
Criticism "Feedback"! Please give me lots and lots of Feedback(tm) and lots of meetings with HR so I know who the boss is in your company. Please destroy my identity further. :^)
Dear sirs, please Agile Work Place My Butt
If you have ever met me in real life, I'm sorry.
It is with a heavy heart that I inform my friends, family, and coworkers that my beloved cat Jack, has passed away today. His kidneys failed at about 10 this morning, and we had to put him down. It was the best decision for him, as he was suffering and only would have gotten worse. Me, my girlfriend Kristin, and Jack's sister Black Maria, our other cat, were with him when he died. In the past two weeks, he's had three ultrasounds, then a surgery for a gallstone, which required removing his gall bladder. He suffered a cardiac arrest shortly after the surgery, but he was resuscitated. He's had blood transfusions, and has required a feeding tube in his last days. What makes it especially heartbreaking is that two and a half weeks ago, he was fine. There was nothing unusual about him.
Please enjoy these pictures of him.
For those that didn't know Jack, he was the friendliest, warmest, chattiest cat you would ever meet. He loved everyone, he loved giving and receiving affection, and he always had a lot to say. You c...